


GP329's Eddsworld Collection

by GP329



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, May Contain Vore, Minor Original Character(s), One Shot Collection, Rating May Change, multiple scenarios
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:33:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GP329/pseuds/GP329
Summary: "Alright, it's time to fix whatever Tom ruined this time!" said no one ever, besides Matt & Bing probably…and by that I mean write some nonsense to make up for all that harpoon crap — more specifically nonsense that doesn't contain harpoon crap. (can't eat cereal with this!) However, the anti-shipping rule is still in effect: no romance unless it's canon (e.g. Kim × Katya; Paul × his wife; etc.)A̶l̶s̶o̶,̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ ̶i̶n̶s̶e̶r̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶O̶C̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶e̶v̶e̶r̶a̶l̶ ̶f̶e̶t̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶j̶o̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶e̶,̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶s̶t̶a̶i̶r̶s̶.̶
Kudos: 1





	1. The day when everything got fixed!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entry Ⅰ - in which the old house comes back outta nowhere, and Edd and the gang move back in.  
> It's nice to see that everything is back to normal, right?

Once upon a time a house blew up…

Don't worry though, with the power of witchcraft, it's conveniently fixed along with everything else!

Edd Tom and Matt had heard of the news, so they went back to check it out and also move back in.

Edd: "Well, would'ya look at that! Everything's back to normal."

Matt: "Huh, that's weird. I guess we'll go bring our stuff over."

Tom: "…LAME."

Suddenly Tord appeared from behind the bushes to see what's going on.

Matt: "Oh look, Todd's back!"

Tom: "OK first of all, Matt, he's not Todd. Todd's that creepy Flanders knockoff who lives with Eduardo and the others."

Matt: "Oh right, I forgot."

Tom: "And secondly, Tord go away or else I'm gonna harpo--"

Tord: "NONONONONOWAIT, I just wanted to move back in. FOR REAL THIS TIME. I've still the bruises from then, so no more of that harpoon crap!"

Edd: "But you said you no longer needed us."

Tord: "Actually I just wanted to get back at Tom for kicking me out the first time."

Tom: "I would put a flashback to whatever happened between Moving Targets and 25FT. Under the Seat, but that would require the authour to make one up."

Edd gave his cat Ringo a pat on the head as everyone nodded in agreement, except for Paul, who had just arrived during that little 4th wall destruction.

Paul: "What are you guys going on about now?"

Edd: "Oh hi Paul, our old house mysteriously repaired itself and we're thinking about moving back in."

Paul: "OK. Hey, is it alright if I join you?"

Edd: "Uh, sure. You can be Tord's roommate."

And so, they brought back all of their things, and everything was back to how it should've been.

The End


	2. So, what's Eduardo up to, anyways?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entry Ⅱ - In which Jon is ressurrected in Eduardo's basement, and the horrifyingly religious Todd Flanders is introduced.  
> [No notable dialogue aside from the occasional "hiddly-diddly okely-dokely" noises.]

* * *

Hmmm, let's see what's going on next door, shall we?

* * *

As Edd and the gang are finally settled in, the neighbours are having their own problems.

Eduardo's ramblin' on about his rival as usual while drinkin' his nuclear diet cola, Mark's just sitting at the couch watching TV, and Jon's still dead…or is he⁈

Later on, they're still goin' at it until dinnertime, when suddenly the doorbell is heard. Oh, no…it can't be.

"Hi-diddly-ho, Eduardorino!"

TODD.

Eduardo runs down into the basement, closing the door in Todd's face while dragging Mark with him, to see if they could revive Jon.

Several hours pass, but eventually Jon is finally brought back from the dead! "Jon, you idiot, we've missed you. Welcome back to life!"

However, unbeknownst to them, Todd is watching them through a small window, and he has witnessed the whole thing.

"This ain't okely-dokely, Eduardorino. Your sins are just the be-diddly-ginning of it!"

つづく⁈


	3. Honey I Shrunk the Eddsworld! (and then I ate'em, oops!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entry Ⅲ - in which Tord accidentally…uhh…you've read the title, right?  
> [This is where the fetish jokes come into play.]

It was a typically normal, average, everyday Edd-isode, everything seemed to be going according to the script…or at least until _THIS_ happened!

* * *

Ummm…

OK, it starts off with Tord working on something in his room. Are we gonna know what this "something" is? Probably not. Anyways, he's finished it up, so he decided to hang out with Matt.

However, Matt wasn't in his room at the time, so he just went to watch some TV for a while. Meanwhile, we find out where Matt and the others went off to. Matt holds up a strange raygun-like device and says: "Hey look what I found that was on that table over there!" Edd asks him: "Are you sure? That thing looks pretty dangerous." to which Tom swipes the device from him and responds: "Meh, who cares…"

Suddenly, he adds: "I wonder what this is for anyways." So Tom presses a button, and a large beam shines on the trio. They appear to be getting smaller and smaller, nobody notices until Edd points it out: "Guys? Does anyone else get the feeling they're suddenly like 2½ milimetres high?"

Meanwhile, Tord is done watching TV, and decides to check what the others were doing. Suddenly he notices the device on the ground: "My shrinkray—how'd it get over here?" He picks it up, not realizing his now shrunken friends had already climbed on. The shrinkray is put back onto the table in Tord's room, he sits back down in his bed, but now the tiny trio mindlessly hopped onto his slightly bandaged chest area. He doesn't even know it's them, but he definitely feels them crawl against his neck, and all the way up to his mouth. They then immediately get sucked in by the unaware Norwegian boy. …Oh, dear.

Anyways, they suddenly figured out that they somehow ended up in Tord's gullet, and so they started to freak out: "Tord‼ — Get us outta here‼" Meanwhile, Tord's still blissfully unaware of what happened, and let out a huge gulp. That boy ain't right, I tell'ya hwat…

* * *

If the guys downstairs find out about this strange and unusual monstrosity of a plot, I'm clearly not letting Tom live this one down!

—Christopher "Evil Director" Bingbong 

~~and also Larry~~

Actually, I rather not be involved with this.

—Larry 


	4. Escape from Tord's brain/A sequel to the previous...thing...ughhh/Where did Pat come from?/Four chapters means four alternate titles apparently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entry Ⅳ ...or is it Entry Ⅲ½? - You read the title...s. This is a continuation of a thing that exists. So that means, once again, there's vore involved.  
> (Also Patrik's here too wtf)

Previously on _GP329's Eddsworld Collection_...

***Insert flashback here, to when Edd, Tom and Matt were shrunken down and eaten by Tord***

And now, the conclusion... Wait...you can't be serious, that ACTUALLY **HAPPENED LAST TIME _WHAT THE FU-_**?

* * *

After a few minutes pass, the trio finally landed. "...What happened, where are we?" They look around to see where they have landed, and instantly they remember how they even landed there in the first place.

"We gotta find a way outta here, there must be an exit around somewhere," Edd says, as they wander about in a circle.

Suddenly, Matt nearly trips over a hole in the floor. "Uhh, guys? I think I found on-" Tom interrupts him, "NOT THERE MATT, ANYWHERE BUT THERE." "...Alright, I'll look somewhere else," replies Matt. He notices the opening above, where they fell in from. "Up there, perhaps?" Edd walks over to him and looks up to where he was talking about. "Don't be silly," Edd responds, "How are we supposed to get all the way back up to-?"

"I found a ladder!" Tom answers, "But how'd it get in here anywa-you know what never mind. Let's just go." And so, they take the ladder ~~that was apparently in Tord's stomach lining I dunno either...~~ all the way back up until they finally reached...a large mechanical room with a huge computer screen, some buttons and levers, and a bunch of wires everywhere, which looks like some kind of control room. "So _THIS_ is what Tord's brain looks like... Huh."

Edd notices a door labeled "Memory Closet", and finds a camera and some film reels. He picks up one of the reels, the words "How NOT to recruit members for your army" written on it in Norwegian, and places it in the camera. The film is in a first-person perspective, from Tord's point of view.

It starts with Tord opening a door labeled "Red Leader", and walking over to an office desk. It then cuts to the other members of the Red Army approaching him at his desk; Paul, Yuu, Yanov and...a rather stoic-faced individual you might recognize.

Tord finally speaks up, "Alright, as honorary members of the Red Army, it is your civic duty to not question why your uniforms are blue. Any questions?" Yanov raises his hand, "I have a question, if we're the Red Army, why are our uniforms blu-?" Before he can finish, a trap door opens below him, and he gets dropped in. "any _OTHER_ questions?"

Paul raises his hand, and asks "Who's this guy?" while pointing at the smug-looking Red Army member. "Oh, him? That's Patrik. He's our new recruit...somehow." Patrik looks over to Tord, "I donated to charity!" Tord sighs, "Good for you, Patrik. Yuu, show Patrik around the HQ, and give him some helpful instructions." "Yessir!" Yuu replies, before they both walk off. "Paul, keep an eye on them to make sure they're doing it correctly." "Alright, sir." Paul walks to where Yuu and Patrik went.

A few seconds later the film cuts to Yuu, lying on the floor, covered in bandages. Paul sighs, "I tried to warn him," He looks over to Patrik, "Okay, Pat, I guess you'll be replacing Yuu." Tord gives him Yuu's old uniform, as well as an upside-down nametag, similar to Paul's. Paul sees this and flips Pat's nametag right-side-up, and responds, "Just to make things clear, Pat, I have a wife. So if anyone thinks we're dating, you know what to do." The film ends there, and Tom sees another film labeled "Dudettes Next Door", and tosses it into a trash bin, before Edd and Matt both stare at him disapprovingly.

The stare was so "powerful", as Edd put it, that Matt ended up spilling a bag of popcorn. Oops. He reaches over to grab the bag off the floor, accidentally flipping one of the big computer's levers in the process, and as it turns out, the buttons and levers are the controls to Tord's body. Double oops. Meanwhile, Tord immediately stands back up. "Wha-?" His good arm flails around and slaps him across the face. Before the confused Norwegian communist could question what happened, this time both of his arms flail around, confusing him even more. Suddenly, his legs start walking him around the room, like some kind of wind-up toy.

Paul enters the room, and notices Tord flailing around like an idiot. "Paul, help me! I have no control over my arms and legs!" Paul sighs, "Alright sir, I'll go get your medication." Tord growls at him as he walks to the kitchen, "Get back here this instant!" Suddenly, his right index finger shoves itself into his nose. ~~Or you know, where a nose should be on an Eddsworld character, lol~~ Tord yells out an incredibly long and painful groan of "Pauuuuul...!" until finally, Paul returned.

"Paul, I think I might know what's happening to me," he explains, "Because I found my shrinkray lying around in the other room. There must be something or someone controlling my brain. Plus I haven't seen Edd and the others all day today. Hmm..." He still theorizes as his bandaged index finger is digging for gold.

Back inside his head, Edd, Tom and Matt are struggling to fix everything up. Eventually, Tom finds a button labeled "Soft reset", and presses it, that finally solving their problem. "Phew, glad that's over with," Edd says. Tom agrees and replies with, "We still need to find a way outta Tord's body." Matt eventually finds them an exit nearby, and exclaims, "Oh, it was right here all along! How did we not notice tha-?" Tom cuts him off yet again with, "Who cares? Let's get outta here." As the trio finally make their escape, meanwhile back outside, Tord had regained control of his arms. However, his finger still digging around until he feels something close to the tip. A huge wad of "gunk", with Edd and the others wedged in it, is pulled out.

Paul looks on in disgust, exclaiming, "I'll be right back, gonna vomit!" and runs off to the bathroom. Tord pulls out the invention he was previously working on prior to all of this, as it's revealed to be a "growth ray", and aims it at his tiny friends. "What an Edd-venture this has been," Edd quips. Tord replies, "Well, I'm glad that's over with. You guys had me worried for a moment ther-" Tom, once more, interrupts, this time stating the obvious, "That was gross and I'm still interrupting sentences, aren't I?" "Indubitably," answers Matt. And they all agreed to never talk about it again. The End.

* * *

"Yep, definitely not living this one down. One of the weirdest Eddsworld scripts I've ever read. Isn't that right, Larry?" - Director Bingbong

"I already told you not to involve me in whatever this is." - Larry


	5. The horrible decision to leave these goofballs in charge (AKA, EddsTrip: Back on Track!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entry Ⅴ - in which Edd and Tom go on a "business" trip, leaving Matt, Tord and Paul in charge.  
> [Also, congrats to George Gould, for being the new voice for Edd, and therefore solving my "WTFuture voice changer wearing off" theory...]

Once upon a time, it looks like Edd's going somewhere... He's got a dark-green backpack on and there's a ton of luggage piled up by the door. What else could that mean, anyways? Well, looks like we're about to find out!

Tom sees the luggage.

Tom: Hey Edd, what's with all the luggage?

Edd: Oh, this? I'm just goin' on a little business trip!

Tom: Ah, is it alright if I come with you?

Edd: ...I don't think that's such a good idea, Tom.

Tom: Why not?

Edd sweats.

Edd: Uhhh, because that would leave Matt in charge of everything...?

Tom: Did you forget Tord and Paul are here too?

Edd sweats uncontrollably, and runs out to his car, only to find Tom in the car with him.

Edd: AHH! How did you-?

Tom: Alright, let's go!

Edd has the most unamused expression on his face, as they drive off to their "business" trip.

Meanwhile, everything starts as you'd expect it to, with Matt admiring his reflection, Paul smoking his weird crooked cigarettes, and Tord playing a game called Splatoo-I mean, uhh...Hentai Paintball or something like that. Several minutes pass until Tord is the first to finally notice that Edd and Tom aren't home.

Tord: Uhh, guys? Where are Edd and Tom? I haven't seen them anywhere!

Paul: ...Have you tried putting your glasses on?

Tord furiously stares at Paul for making that horrible joke until Matt enters the room.

Matt: What's goin' on out here?

Tord: Tom and Edd seem to have vanished, I can't find them anywhere.

Matt: Hmm, I see. Well have you tried putting on glasses?

Tord grumbles something in Norwegian and reaches over to throw Matt's mirror out the front door.

Tord: Stop looking at yourself!

He throws the mirror at the door, this causes the door to open on its own. He and Paul look outside to see that Edd's car isn't there! Matt on the other hand, is having his own problem...

Matt: Ohhh...no.... Now I can't see how beautiful I look! That's seven YEARS of being unable to look at my face!

He suddenly notices something ELSE is missing, besides his mirror.

Matt: Oh yeah, also being unable to look at the car...Wait, WHA-?! Where's the car?

Tord: That's what I was saying! Edd and Tom are nowhere to be found, and now the car's gone too!

Paul: Hmm... I guess they must've went somewhere and didn't tell us. But where have they run off to?

They all just stand there for a few seconds until...

Matt: You guys wanna throw some kind of party until they get back?

Tord and Paul: Sure!

And so they did. Meanwhile, Edd and Tom are returning home...

Tom: ...You call that a business trip? There was barely any "business"! All you did was drive us to a campsite just so you could go to that random taco stand right next to it. I feel ripped off.

Edd: I don't know what's worse Tom, the fact that you decided to come with me, or the fact that the taco I had there isn't sitting well...

Tom: Lame.

They exit the car, and walk up to the front door. Tom notices a broken mirror laying beside the door.

Tom: Why is Matt's mirror out here?

They open the door and head inside. Edd quickly runs towards the bathroom, groaning in discomfort.

Tord, Matt and Paul finally see that Edd and Tom came back.

Tord: You're back!

Paul: We've been worried that you left without telling us!

Matt: Where have you guys been anyways?

Tom: Oh, y'know... Business.

Tom looks over to the bathroom door where Edd is still groaning in discomfort, and walks all the way to his room.

The End.


End file.
